the flower stone

A stone is staying under the sea happily. The sea is her comfort zone; the stone is safe in the sea. Every stone will transform into a brilliant flower. But if after the stone turn into flower, she will being attacked by insect and strong wind. Insect will eat her leafs and wind will makes her sick.   So the stone refuses to turn herself into flower, she chooses to stay in her comfort zone. Then the leaf around the stone encourages her, give her support. Day by day, by the nutriment of the leaf, the stone willing to risk herself and become seedling at last.

I actually didn’t think much of what I want to draw after I draw a stone in beginning of the story. So let the feeling leads me. Instead of drawing an ordinary stone, I want the stone to be different. Because I love something that is special, that is out of ordinary. It also represent each of us is special and unique. For me, sea reminds me about freedom and calm, so I think it is the best place for the storm to stay; hiding under the sea. When I was asked to think of the mission for the stone, I really can’t think of any of them. What does the mission a stone ever had? == Again, let my unconscious lead me. Draw whatever that comes into my mind- a flower. It might be sound ridiculous for a stone to become a flower, but the thing I like about arts is I can throw away all the logical thinking and give free rein to my imagination.

Then I realize, I am the stone. For me, stone is strong, did not show up its weakness and emotion and keep everything inside. I see myself as a stone in the past. I can be very tough, efficient and independent in order to protect myself from being hurt. I thought it was a right choice to make but I started to lose my heart.  I set a very strong boundary between myself and others, just like detached personality. The only thing is know is I must protect myself.

But then, I see the purpose of my life in to love. There’s something that only Eve alone can offer to this world. I draw a flower to represent the beauty that only women can give to this world. The beauty does not refer to the appearance but something internality. I have to admit that I am social creatures who yearn to belong. And here come the challenge; to love we have to open up ourselves and its risk taking. We might be hurt, rejected and disappointed. Just like the insects will eat the leaf and the leaf will lose part of itself.  The leaf represents God and the good friend around me.   They encourage me in order to love and loved, I have to risk myself. God will be my resource to love and to open up my heart. At last, the stone begin to sprout. I now manage to open up myself and express my love to people. 

Then the time came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. 

<Anais Nin>

After I complete the last drawing, I come to realize it’s not a stone, it’s a seed.

I’m not a stone, I’m a seed who meant for blooming =)